Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
