Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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