I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
