I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
