i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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