even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
as a side note pls kill me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize