i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
