It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
