I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sext me about skeletons
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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