After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
