There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just invented taco cereal.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
