Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
