Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
