There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
