Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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