No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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