dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
