You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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