i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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