Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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