you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
