Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
