coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
