it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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