Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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