Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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