Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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