I want to have your abortion
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
