ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
