her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
