Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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