loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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