Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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