remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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