She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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