I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
