Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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