So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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