$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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