Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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