conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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