So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
