He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
