So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
