You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
