you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
