Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
