Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
