We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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