i don't like sucking hair
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
