we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
