Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
