You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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