I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
