You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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