Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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