Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize