He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
