Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
