Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize