Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
