OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize