his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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