is wine microwaveable?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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