help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
