What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
wow bdsm is so cute
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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