i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
