just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
