we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
