the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
